Embarrass Yourself

Embarrassment is the cost of entry. If you aren't willing to look like a foolish beginner, you'll never become a graceful master. - twitter quote

For a long time in my life, I thought embarrassment was a form of humiliation. I thought if I failed that's all people would say about me for the rest of my life. I thought I was letting all the spectators of my life down, and recovery was not an option.

I was wrong.

Embarrassment is instead, the bridge to acceptance that few care to cross. Embracing ourselves in our weirdest moments, mean we have to admit we are weird. To start into our biggest achievements, we have to step into our biggest failures. To create boundaries we have to confront the pain that we have experienced/inflicted.

For some, the bridge into their life never started. They still stare across it, talking about regret while mindlessly scrolling with envy and judgment across social media. That cycle will always exist, catching dreamers who are bound by others' opinions for all of eternity. People who constantly fear missing out, usually do. They miss being present, being vulnerable. They are so focused on the impression they forget to be intentional with their presence. I fall into this cycle. You've fallen into this cycle. It's okay. It's human.

When I got to the entrance of my bridge, I realized how much fear I had been carrying. I was so scared of not being what others needed. If I wasn't important to someone, then I didn't matter. Then I looked around and realized all of those people I thought needed me, stopped walking with me on my journey miles ago. They gave up, they abandon, they changed, and we grew apart. I was angry about that for a while and sometimes still am. I wrestle with taking responsibility for certain relationships ending and finding forgiveness for myself and them. Slowly though, I realized that people grow apart, some painfully, others amicably and its not an if, but a when. I also realized it's not something to feel shame about.

Tip 1: History does not equal loyalty. If you are being mistreated and your feelings are not being considered, move away and move on.

Tip 2: Forgiveness naturally should create new boundaries otherwise history is doomed to repeat itself.

So what does this have to do with embarrassing yourself? I have found that losing anything in life can feel embarrassing. Whether it's a friend, a football game, or an argument, no one enjoys feeling less than. Usually after this feeling, loneliness starts to convince us that we don't have anyone, but let me remind you that's not true. You may not have what others have, but remember what appears shiny on the surface, can be rusted underneath.

Disclaimer: the feeling of embarrassment does not go away when you cross your bridge. What happens is you find an identity on the bridge. You confront yourself. You evaluate the people who left you behind and those you left. You evaluate your shortcomings and areas you are blind in. You have real, honest, tough conversations. You admit you feel lonely, and you admit you're human. You begin to find that what you feared all along wasn't the bridge, it was yourself. You feared identity, you feared change, and you thought if you crossed the bridge then people might not like the new you. These are all real things to consider, however, at the end of those questions, ask yourself.

Am I happy where I'm standing?

The truth is, change is always going to upset people who expect you to stay the same as them.

Change naturally disrupts. It has to, otherwise, it wouldn't be noticeable.

So, what are you willing to disrupt in your life?

Embarrassment is the greatest teacher, but since its lessons are exactly those we have tried hardest to conceal from ourselves, it may teach us also to perfect our self-deception - James Richardson

See, when you embarrass yourself, instead of degrading your identity, you can build it. You can pause and reflect on why you feel embarrassed. Is it because you should? Or because others are making you? That leads to confidence in your mistakes because you begin to accept they will happen. You learn not to dwell on the shame, but instead, focus on subtle shifts you can make to improve your life/relationships. You become self-aware, and that is the first step in greatness.

Life happens regardless of where we are and as I've said before, there is no fix-all button.

Yet, when we know who we are, we can stand taller against the opinion of others, the insecurities, the loneliness. We also can accept help, and we begin to notice the people who are investing in us. This begins to build lasting relationships in our lives.

So, look at your bridge, look at how far you've made it, and remember even if you trip on your way across, you are still so worth all of the love life has to offer in all forms. I am so proud of you. I believe in you. I am here for you. I am cheering you on. Wear your scars proudly, they are so beautiful and unique to your journey in life. Thank you for being here.

Jesus loves you, and I hope you know how truly wonderful He sees you.

Remember you are meant 2B here, and you are meant 2B happy.

XO Bella Grace (p.s I know my use of too and to are wrong. I'm sorry.) (p.s.s - attached is a voice recording of what's next on my blog, enjoy what I sound like at 2 a.m on voice notes)

https://static.wixstatic.com/mp3/b47309_74dfd8809d814da9abf9bed42546162a.m4a