The Broken Home

Are people really broken? And if they are, is it permanent?

Before making this episode I dove into those questions very in-depth. I basically analyzed myself, because at the time I believed, yes, people can be broken forever. However, my mentality has changed.

While I do believe broken people exist, I believe it is only as permanent as you allow it to be.

I applied this to heartbreak because I had to watch what I thought was my "dream" person walk away, give up, and stop seeing value in me. This caused me to make that my identity, I was not valuable because they said so. (SO DUMB)

I don't know your story, maybe you are broken because no one tells you they are proud of you? Please know I am. I am proud of you. For being here, for embracing the tough emotions, and for simply being yourself.

Maybe you are broken because you feel behind in life.

Don't, time moves differently for everyone which means goals get met at different times. Maybe it's simply a bad body image day. I get those a lot. You are still beautiful, and worth love. Your body is unique and I promise there are people who adore it. Some advice I heard recently truly changed my outlook on brokenness. The person said, "The moment we stop taking on people's actions as our responsibility, we find that they indeed had nothing to do with us." Basically, that means, stop villainizing yourself.

And you may think "Bella, I have a really bad habit of doing xyz..." Okay? We all are made of puzzle pieces, and sometimes they aren't gonna match with other ones, and that's okay. That doesn't mean anyone's piece was made wrong it simply means it connects differently somewhere else.

Yes, I fully believe take responsibility for your own actions, but do not think someone's reaction to them is a personal identity.

Bad habits must be mixed with good ones, it's what makes humans so amazing! The ability to connect over so many different things, even traumatic things, body dysmorphia, and even broken homes. In this entire episode, I wanted to really dive into the idea our bodies were homes, and so many people are surface level, and they hoard real issues in the basement. In therapy they used this analogy of the home being flooded at the bottom but pretty on the top.

My therapist asked, "If you bought a home, and you walked down into the basement and saw it was flooded, wouldn't you be upset that the issue wasn't presented in the beginning and now it's your problem even though you didn't create it?"

I was like, maybe, but sometimes keeping things to yourself is good right? ( we were talking about oversharing with people prior )

She said "Keeping something to yourself then letting it effect others later because you don't want to deal with it alone is selfish. Rather, you should address it with yourself and close loved ones, fix it, then invite selected people in at the pace you'd like. People tend to put a fix me clause in relationships with people who didn't hurt them, causing a stranger to fix a problem they didn't create. This causes a huge strain on the ability to communicate.”

To say I was shocked is the understatement of the year. I took that home with me and then obviously I sent it over to you guys and gals! :)

Please know you are the only one who can fix your basement, the only one who even knows it's flooded. Use your alone time to maybe do what I did and journal out all the places you feel broken or flooded in life. Then, step by step, start making habits that allow you to feel whole. I started going to the gym, dancing more, talking to people more, and finding little things that made me smile.

OVERALL THOUGH please know you ARE NOT BROKEN, but rather you ARE HUMAN, and you ARE GROWING not FIXING yourself. You do not need fixing, gosh I hate that term, fixing something such as a mind implies that it isn't unique, or that it needs to fit in line with everyone else, and maybe in some ways, we do need to blend a little, but not fully!

Stand out and simply allow yourself to grow, to clean up the areas you need to FOR YOURSELF, to BETTER YOURSELF, then watch as people come in and not only grow with you but also share how their basement felt hopeless once too. I truly do love being a human. I love connecting and hearing so many unique stories that bring people together. Thank you for sharing them with me.

Sorry, this post was a bit late, please know I am so proud of you and thank you so much for listening to 2B Podcast. New Episode is coming so soon!

B.